Why must we be one way or another? Why can't we just be?

    Someone scribbled this phrase on a Buenos Aires street recently: "Down with obligatory hetrosexuality." Perhaps his sympathies were directed elsewhere. Yet there is something poignant in the expression. Is there something we must be? Something we must do? Someone or some system that has the right to decide what is to come of us? What is 'best' for us? Why can't we just be? Perhaps because that is a bit subversive. O.K. but what about co-existence?

   Human beings are basically social animals. They become sad and disoriented when taken from human contact. Nevertheless, the homo sapiens are expert at complicating their relationships. Having relationships means some sort of tie with the other guy or gal or neighbors, or club, or team, or religion, or political group or province, or country or...and in the midst of these relationships the other is sometimes sexually attractive, sometimes not, and in accordance to our "group of reference" we got to bed with someone, marry, take on a lover, get divorced, carry on same sex relationships--openly or not in accordance with the limits established by the group of reference.

    Many of our individual actions and attitudes are preconditioned. If we are trapped in poverty, we see the world from the eyes of the poor--who the rich don't want to see or want to push out of sight. If we are rich, we are concerned about what to do with our money, how to keep it and make more--and prevent robbery of our wealth. If we are middle class, we are in a crunch, not knowing who to trust, where to direct our efforts. If we are rich and powerful we are what we have and our life is a struggle to keep and expand our possessions. If we are poor, we are usually too busy just trying to exist to think of who we are. If we are middle class, we can enjoy a good education but before we can answer the question who we are someone is pushing us into some niche.

  The sexual impulse is clearly one of the most powerful sources of vital energy at our disposal. But according to our group of reference we are told to use it in one way or not, usually in the context of fixed marital or de facto marital ties. And most of us are told that there is some sort of magical connection between sex and marriage, even though quite frequently people who have great sex cannot stand to live with each other; others who have very rudimentary sex love each other dearly. There doesn't seem to be any easy response to the dilemma.

   Getting back to the just being. Why is it that human beings, especially empires and powerful nations, those that say they represent human advancement, or others in complete social disarray, so frequently end up killing each other? Take the case of Jews and Palestinians. They both have a very similar background, but have adopted different religions. Why can't they let the other be? Why can't each allow the other to  live in peace? Is it because of a religious conflict? Practically all religions have similar sets of value--even though extremists on one side or the other may from time to time violate their own norms in the name of defense of their God or traditions. Maybe it is just a question of land: identification with patches of territory, as if that were part of the self.

   Again: society is not very willing just to let people be what they want. There is evolution, true, we have international laws and convents protecting human rights, sexual preference, yet in one way or another there is always someone or some situation preventing us from just being. We have to struggle very hard just to be. Lot's of people are able to just be at least for a certain part of their lives, or for certain golden minutes, but then there's the real world out there just waiting to put you into a box. Like the song by Pete Seager: "Little boxes, little boxes..."